At Least I'm Not A Panda Bear- In which I spill the metaphorical beans

When Joey and I went to visit my parents in San Diego this past March, Joey decided he wanted to take an orange tree back with us to Heber. Actually, he had made that decision the previous year when all I would let him bring back with us was a palm tree to go with the other palm tree we had brought back the year before that. (Both palm trees, by the way, are still thriving in our living room.) So we bought a Dwarf Navel Orange tree from the local Home Depot, stuck it in the back of our 4Runner, and made the 11 hour drive back to Heber, eagerly anticipating our very own, homegrown oranges. The plan was to take the tree outside on warm days to attract the bees, and bring it back in the house during the frosty nights. But we had a problem- by the time the blossoms had begun wilting away, we weren't sure enough bees had had the opportunity to pollinate our tree. Not to be defeated and after a little research I found out that orange trees can actually be hand pollinated. Quite easily, in fact. I won't go into the details of hand pollination, but I will say that it felt a little unfair that it only took a q-tip and 3 minutes for us to fertilize our orange tree.

I wish I could say it's been so easy for Joey and I to start our own little family. It's been two years since we started trying, and after one year the doctor had already told us "it would be a miracle" for us to get pregnant. So you might understand the cruel sense of irony we felt as we gently swabbed our q-tip from one blossom to the next with ease, joining pollen with pistil to facilitate fertilization.

That experience got me thinking that there must be other creatures on this green earth that have it more difficult than us. For example, I remember giving an 8th grade current event report on Hua Mei, the first panda born in the Western Hemisphere (in the San Diego Zoo, no less) in almost a decade. She had even made the front page of the San Diego Tribune. Apprently, zoos really struggle to breed their pandas in part because a female panda's window of opportunity only lasts for between 24-36 hours PER YEAR. Yikes! And if you think the Giant Panda has a rough time of it, meet the Anglerfish. A male Anglerfish will die if it doesn't mate (something about starving to death) so when it does find a female (500 meters below the ocean surface) it latches on to her, emitting enzymes that literally fuse them together. Now the male is dependent on the female for survival, and she has a ready supply of sperm the minute she feels like spawning. There are loads more animals with less-than-desirable biology (visit http://lukehimself.net/?p=3298 for more fascinating examples) and I tell you, I would take our situation over theirs any day.

The solution? Well Joey and I decided almost a year ago that we would look into adoption to get our family started. It's been quite a process, but as of this week we are approved and ready to be placed with a child. We welcome family and friends to spread the word and invite expectant mothers to visit our official profile, which can be found at https://itsaboutlove.org/ial/profiles/28514152/ourMessage.jsf. And while Joey won't let me set a time limit (he doesn't want me to be disappointed), I'm just hoping we'll have a baby in our arms before the next panda makes the front page.